Here is another edition of Free for All Friday:

Beverly Mahone Blog talk radio Show: Passions every Monday at 12pmEDT
This week, Beverly had Susan Gunelius, author of Harry Potter, The Story of a Global Business Phenomenon in a session Beverly calls Kick Butt and Take Names Later.
It was a great interview where Susan & Beverly talked about how social media and blogging has gotten Susan from going on to searching for writing jobs to where she is today, author of this book and 2 more business books. She gave some great tips to new beginners: choose a platform and start writing. Visit other blogs and actively comment (don’t just say, “Nice post”). Add to the conversation.
Susan also started an online blog community called Women On Business.

Liz Straussis one of those ladies who I have been following through twitter and her blog. On Twitter this morning, she posted her latest blog post, Hurry Up, Slow Down and Take your Time. Well, that made me think about something my dad always says, “Take your Time But Hurry Up!”. The post contemplates the very notion can we slow down when we need to speed up. Or is that we should go faster in some things but we need to slow down? Very nice post. I took away from the post, live your life at the pace that works best for you.
Also, I like the SOB Cafe. A collection of posts about business of blogging.

And from this I found a new blog called T+D (Training and Development) Blog. They had a recent blog post called Creature of Habit…Fear of Change. That is true that sometimes people stay in their current situation even though they may not like it because of fear of changing it. They get comfortable within the misery.

I have to say I enjoy putting together the Free for All Friday posts, because I find some inspiring, conversational, and insightful posts that lead me to connect to something else.
For instance, the blog post at T+D Blog made me think about something two friends of mine, Katherine Reschke and Jenn Givler are doing for a new coaching program based on changing mindsets and coaching your brain.

Something new I haven’t done before but I am recommended this newsletter and if you don’t wish to subscribe you don’t have to put I wanted to at least share the following article in Bob Burg’s newsletter Winning Without Intimidation

* Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Six Degrees of Separation
By Dr. Ivan Misner

What do Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Six Degrees of
Separation have in common? The answer is - people all around the
world believe in them. But, since I don’t wish to do an exposé on
Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, I’m going to leave those icons
alone. I want to talk about the Six Degrees of Separation idea.
This is the widely-held belief that we are all connected to each
other through, at most, six intermediary connections or people.

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but it’s just not true.
In fact, it is a widespread urban legend. I know, I know - you’re
thinking, “What? That can’t be! It’s common knowledge that we are
all separated by six connections to anyone in the world.” Well, I
hate to burst your bubble, but the idea that we are all connected
through Six Degrees of Separation is rooted in myth - not in fact.

The legend originally stems from several “small world experiments”
conducted by Stanley Milgram in the 1960s and 70s. These
experiments involved sending folders or letters from a group of
people in one part of the country to a specific person (whom they
did not know) in another part of the country. The people were told
to get the material to someone who might know someone that would
know the individual to whom the material was to be delivered to.
This process formed a chain of connections linking the people
together.

It was, in fact, found that the letters or folders which eventually
arrived in the right person’s hands took, on average, between five
and six connections or degrees. This part is true; however, if you
look closer, you will discover the problems that exist within the
blanket statement that “we are all connected by six degrees.”

First off, though the average number of links for people who got
the material through to the final contact was five or six
connections, the majority of the connections that were made ranged
from two to ten (the average was five to six). This means that
roughly half took more than six and roughly half less than six.
Well, you say, that’s the average and I would agree that there’s
nothing wrong with addressing this concept by the average, but
there’s one small problem. The overwhelming majority of people in
all of Milgram’s studies never got the material to the intended
recipient at all!

In Milgram’s most successful study, “217 chains were started and 64
were completed - a success rate of only 29%.” (*) That’s right - a
success rate of less than 1/3 of the participants!! So, what this
means is that 29% of the people in Milgram’s most successful study
were separated on average by six degrees from the final contact
person. However, that means that 71% were NOT CONNECTED AT ALL!

But wait, I’m afraid it gets worse. This was Milgram’s most
successful study. In another of his studies, only 5% of the
participants completed the chain, which means that 95% of the
people in the study never made the link to the person they were
supposed to connect to at all - ever!

Don’t shoot the messenger, but I am afraid to tell you that we are
not “all” connected with everyone in the world by Six Degrees of
Separation. We’re just not … not all of us.

So, why would I, someone who has devoted most of his professional
career to business networking, be telling everyone about the
Achilles heel of this iconic concept upon which a lot of networking
pros hang their hats?

Well, there are two reasons. First of all, I believe this myth
creates complacency. The thought that everyone is absolutely
connected to everyone else on the planet by six degrees gives some
people a false sense of expectation and thus lulls them into a
sense that the connection is bound to happen sooner or later, no
matter what they do.

Secondly, and most importantly, the studies’ findings indicate
clearly that some people are better connected than others. I
believe that’s important because it means that this is a skill that
can be acquired. With reading, training, and coaching, people can
develop their networking skills, increase their connections, and
become part of the roughly 29% of people that are, in fact,
separated from the rest of the world by only six degrees.

Milgram’s work was revolutionary. It opened up a whole new world of
discussion and understanding. It has, however, been romanticized.
The mythical version of his findings does no good for anyone. It
gives people a false sense of security or an erroneous world view
of the networking process.

I believe we do live in a “small world” that is becoming smaller
and smaller; and I also believe it is possible to be connected to
anyone in the world by only six degrees. I just don’t believe that
“we are all” connected by six degrees and Milgram’s own findings
support that.

The good news in all of this is that it is possible to be part of
the 29% through education, practice, and training. We can be
connected to anyone through the power and potential of networking.
In fact, by understanding that, we can set ourselves aside from our
competition by knowing that being able to make successful
connections is not an entitlement. Instead, it is a skill that only
some actually develop.

As for the 71% of people who are not connected and yet still
believe in the Six Degrees of Separation concept - keep the faith.
You’ll always have Santa Claus.

—–

Called “the father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is
a New York Times bestselling author and Founder of BNI
, the world’s largest business networking
organization. His latest book, The 29% Solution can be viewed at
. Dr. Misner is also the Senior
Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral
training company . He can be
reached at misner@bni.com.

—–

Footnote in above “Could It Be a Big World After All? The Six
Degrees of Separation Myth”
by Judith S. Kleinfeld, Forthcoming, Society, 2002

—————————————–

“When you’re nice to people, they want to be nice back to you.”
– Jack Canfield

—————————————–

* Copyright Notice/Reprint Policy

In order to get the “Winning Without Intimidation” message into the
world’s consciousness as quickly as possible, feel free to share
the complete contents of this publication with as many people as
you’d like (However, no changes may be made to its content without
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article, proper credit by way of the following is required:

Bob Burg is co-author (with John David Mann) of “The Go-Giver”
and publisher of the online newsletter,
“Winning Without Intimidation”.

Do you know someone who’d like to fine-tune his or her Winning
Without Intimidation or Networking sills? You can subscribe by
sending any email to mailto:wwi@aweber.com.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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Well, I hope you enjoyed this edition of Free for All Friday. I welcome your comments, ideas and suggestions.

Filed under: Writing & Speaking Business Lessons